From the Journal of Debbie Evans

I was dreading lunch with Terrrill. He seemed nice enough, but I didn’t want to get into the same trap I’d gotten into with Simon. Right now, my life was very full with raising Nathaniel and getting Countess Deborah Cosmetics famous. I had a campaign and advertising strategy to map out for the launch of our new products, and I certainly didn’t have time to be entertaining male company. Even so, my therapist’s words kept rolling around in my head. I’d gotten to know and trust her, so I had to keep telling myself this was strictly for therapeutic purposes and that I wouldn’t let things go any farther than that.

Noon was rolling around very quickly. I briefly thought of just not showing up and later on just sending Terrill a text saying I’d had an emergency come up at work. Okay, so it was a boldfaced lie and certainly wouldn’t have been the first time I’d ever lied about something. What changed my mind about not showing was the dawning realization that I’d be taking the coward’s way out. After everything I’d been through, I didn’t want to start doing the chicken dance now. I’d just have to suck it up and have lunch with the man. Besides, my therapist would chide me in her gentle way about passing up a perfect opportunity to do something new.

Terrill was waiting for me when I arrived at the bistro. He signaled to me, then got up to pull out my chair for me. It was a beautiful day, and he’d gotten us a nice table outside. The fresh air and sunshine was wonderful, and I was hungry.

“I’m glad you came, Debbie. A part of me thought maybe you’d stand me up. You didn’t seem very enthusiastic about having lunch with me,” Terrill said.

His statement sent my conscience into a tailspin, and I felt like a complete ass. I looked down at the table and blushed. “I thought about standing you up but in the end, I couldn’t do it,” I confessed.

“Well, I’m glad you decided to come. I do hate eating alone,” Terrill said. The warmth of his smile reached inside me, and I felt some of the tension give way.

“Me, too,” I said, smiling back.

“Something tells me you eat alone a lot,” he said.

“At work, yes, but at home, I eat with my son. Being a toddler, however, his table manners are appalling,” I laughed.

Terrill laughed too. That deep, rich laugh of his had a quality that would brighten anyone’s day. “I don’t have any children, but I’ve always wanted them. I was an only child and was lonely for a brother or sister to play with, you know? My wife and I tried for kids but it never happened.”

I was taken aback. “You’re…married?” Dread surged through me and I had to swallow down the need to flee.

“I was. I’m a widower. Betsy died some years back,” he said.

“Oh, God! I’m so sorry,” I said, sympathy for him replacing the dread.

He sighed. “Yeah, me too. We didn’t know she was sick until it was too late. After that, I couldn’t bring myself to get involved with anyone until…”

“Until?” I prompted when he trialed off.

Terrill gave me a sheepish look. “I was on a Reality TV dating show once. It’s called Soulmates. It was quite a while ago when I was on as a contestant.”

I blinked, then looked at him more closely. His admission brought on a sense of recognition for me, and I knew immediately which season he’d been on. I don’t watch much reality TV except The One when it was on and Soulmates, especially when it had been announced that my favorite author in the entire world was going to be the Bachelorette on its very first run. “Why, you were on Lenora’s season, weren’t you?”

“Yep,” he said, grinning lopsidedly.

“She’s my favorite author ever,” I confessed. God, I sounded like such a damn fangirl.

“I’m not into romance novels so haven’t sampled any of her writing. I do know she’s very talented musically. She was always singing to herself when we were on the show,” Terrill said.

“Yes, she has a lovely voice. Meeting her again is on my bucket list,” I replied.

Terrill grinned at me. “You have a bucket list?”

“Doesn’t everybody?” I asked, chuckling.

“I didn’t before but now I do. When Betsy died, it made me realize how fragile life is. After I got over the worst of the grief, I decided to try to fulfill everything I could that’s on my list. I do the best I can, but I have a long way to go,” he said.

He seemed to have a great outlook on things, but I could see the sadness that appeared in his eyes from time to time. Like me, he was a lonely soul trying to get on with life as best he could. “You’ll accomplish it, I’m sure,” I said.

We continued to eat but in silence for a while. We resumed talking over coffee and dessert, and I was surprised at how relaxed I felt. “So, what do you like to do in your spare time?” I asked.

“Well, I work out a lot and am a closet guitar player,” he said.

I raised a brow. “Why a closet player?”

“Because I’m not good enough to perform publicly,” he said. “I just do it for fun and relaxation. I sing a little but I’m pretty mediocre.”

“Oh, I’m sure you’re better than you give yourself credit for,” I said. “What kind of music do you like?”

“I like most types but I play around with some of the classic rock stuff. You know, like the Beatles and the Rolling Stones,” he said.

“No kidding?!” I asked, leaning forward in excitement. “My favorite song is As Tears Go By, and that seems to be the one I play around with a lot.”

“You play guitar?” he asked.

I laughed. “Only a little. I’m more of a strummer than anything. My singing is even worse.”

“I’m sure not,” he said.

I snorted. “Ever hear a bullfrog with laryngitis?”

Terrill nearly spewed a mouthful of coffee, shook his head, then roared with laughter.

“Well, that’s what I sound like. Believe me, I’m no Barbara Streisand.” I said, my own laughter bubbling up and wanting to escape.

“Who is?” We grinned at each other, then both of us were doubled over in fits of helpless laughter.

The remainder of my workday passed in a blur, and I was actually whistling as I walked through my door upon arriving home. I didn’t know if I was feeling giddy from the glass of wine I’d had with lunch or because I got to spend time with someone who actually didn’t want something from me.

I changed into comfortable clothes, scooped up my son, danced with him around the room, and gave him a big tickle that sent him into gales of glee. “Your Mommy’s life is looking up, Nathaniel, my love. I think we’re gonna make it.”

My life was going very well for once. Terrill and I began talking on the phone and texting regularly. I had to admit he was a breath of fresh air. I felt like I’d found a kindred spirit, and it certainly helped that he was easy on the eyes. Things were kept just very friendly between us, and that certainly was fine with me.

The only thing that really frustrated me was that I still hadn’t found a suitable house for Nathaniel and me to move to. I wanted to remain in Aurora Skies and not have to commute very far to work because driving extra long distances to and from work would eat into my time with Nathaniel. I checked the paper every day for possibilities, hoping to avoid the whole real estate agency hullabaloo. Unfortunately, the prospects were dim in the arena of For Sale by Owner. Sighing in defeat, I made a mental note to call a local realtor the next day.

As I continued reading the paper, flipping back to the front page, a headline caught my attention and sent me reeling. Lenora Landgraab, bestselling author and musician, had passed away the previous day from unknown causes. Tears flooded my eyes and spilled over as I read about her life and accomplishments. “My Go!” I choked out and bit my lip. I grieved for her as a devoted fan but realized my sorrow was nothing compared to what her poor family must be going through. I let the newspaper slide through my fingers and onto the floor, put my hands over my face, and bawled. Although I’d only met her once, I felt the loss so acutely for some reason. It was something I just couldn’t explain. Maybe it was knowing something on my bucket list would now never be accomplished. Or perhaps it was because there would be no more new amazing books from her. Whatever the reason, it broke my heart, and I felt like something in my life would now forever be missing.

Debbie’s just so adorable holding her cute little boy. 🙂