Content Warning! Swearing, including a couple F-Bombs and descriptions of physical and mental abuse

“Welcome to Hell, Lenora.”

As the chill seeped further into her bones, fear took an even greater grip on her soul. Nothing good ever came of anything having to do with Shane Clayton. “I don’t understand,” she said in response to Valerie’s ominous statement. “What do you mean?”

Valerie wiped furiously at the tears staining her cheeks. “He swore revenge on you because you ousted his ass. Being famous like you are, his precious ego was even more bruised. His brother is completely obsessed with you, so he thought it would serve you right to take you away from everyone and everything you loved and hand you over to Allen.” The words came out in a rush, and Valerie refused to make eye contact with her.

“What/” Lenora gasped, sitting up straighter on the bed.

“It’s true, every word of it,” Valerie said.

“But…how? Valerie, I think you’d better ell me everything,” Lenora said.

“You’ll hate me.”

“I could never hate ye, Valerie. Don’t ye know by now I love ye? Sweetie, if ye are in some kind of trouble…and right now, it looks like we both are…we’re going to have to help each other if we’re to get out of it. Now, spill.”

And so, Valerie did. She told Lenora everything, starting from her first encounter with Shane all the way up to now. “I’ve lost a lot of time. There are big holes in my memory…and I can’t transform. Shane told me I put some kind of potion in your tea that day I came to visit…but I don’t remember. Oh, Lenora, I don’t expect you to believe me, but I would have never, ever hurt you. I’m a terrible person, but…but I would have never…” Valerie shook her head and turned her back to Lenora. Her head lowered, and her shoulders shook with sobs. “I’m…so ashamed.”

Lenora’s stomach did a lazy roll. She tried to swallow the bile that rose in her throat, but the nausea wouldn’t be quelled. “I’m…going…to be sick.” Lenora hauled herself to her feet, covered her mouth, and nearly fainted as the room spun.

Although Valerie’s wolf abilities were impaired, a degree of her enhanced strength remained. She slid her arms around Lenora and helped her to the toilet. Guilt and shame roiled within her as she watched Lenora, who retched and moaned pitifully. Shane said she’d be sick when she woke up, but it didn’t hit her until I told her what I apparently did. She hates me, I know it. I don’t blame her. Oh, Phaedra, I just want to die! How can I live with myself after this? 

Lenora retched again, the dry heaves violently shaking her slender frame. It felt like the worst case of morning sickness combined with the most hellish of hangovers. It seemed to go on forever. When she thought she was done, another wave of nausea struck, and Lenora heaved until she thought her insides would dislodge themselves from their moorings. After it finally passed, Lenora rested her head queasily on the lip of the toilet bowl.

“Here, drink this,” Valerie said, holding a glass of water out to Lenora. “It’ll make you feel better.”

“I don’t know that I could keep it down.”

“You need to keep hydrated. Try just a little,” Valerie urged. She helped Lenora to hold the glass and guided it to her lips. After a few sips, a little color returned to Lenora’s face. Valerie went to the sink and wet a cloth with cold water. “This will help,” she said, applying it to Lenora’s brow, then gently moving it over her face.

“Thanks,” Lenora whispered, then leaned on Valerie as she helped her up. As Valerie started to lead her to the bed, Lenora stopped her with light pressure on her arm. “I think I’d like to sit up for a bit. I need to get my bearings.”

Valerie led Lenora to the chair and helped her sit. “I’m so sorry, Lenora. I deserve every bit of your hatred.” Valerie started to turn away, but Lenora caught one of her hands and squeezed it. Valerie had no choice but to stay rooted to the spot.

“Valerie, I need ye to listen to me now, darling. Can ye do that?” Lenora said, her Irish brogue very evident.

Darling? She called me darling? That’s not something you’d call someone you hated. Valerie blinked owlishly but nodded in answer to Lenora’s question.

“Ye are a victim as much as I am, as much as anyone Shane has harmed. He’s controlling ye, which means ye don’t have your wits completely about ye. He’s using ye to do his dirty work, Valerie. How can I hate ye when ye obviously didn’t know what ye were doing?” Lenora said.

“But–”

“Valerie, I want ye to kneel right here so I can get a good look at ye. Do ye still carry your penlight?” Lenora asked, indicating a spot in front of the chair.

“Um, yeah,” Valerie said. “But–”

“Come, now, let me have your light, and let’s have a look, shall we?” Lenora said soothingly.

Handing Lenora the little light, Valerie knelt before her. Before turning it on, Lenora looked into Valerie’s eyes, studying them critically. Switching it on, Lenora shined it into Valerie’s eyes, clicking her tongue in disgust as she watched Valerie’s pupils react. “Sluggish. Definite aftereffects, aye.” Lenora turned off the light and handed it back to Valerie. “Let me see your arms.”

“Huh?”

“Your arms, darling. Let me see them.”

Reluctantly, Valerie stretched her arms out to Lenora, who examined them from shoulder to wrist, gently turning them to study them at every angle. She prodded Valerie’s muscles with a firm touch, easing up in places when Valerie grimaced or winced. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I don’t mean to hurt ye.” Not only were there fading needle marks on Valerie’s arms, but Lenora could clearly discern the remnants of Shane’s handiwork. There were faint fingermarks on Valerie’s right wrist, and her left shoulder, still sporting angry blue bruises, was especially tender.

“You apologize for hurting me after everything I did?” Valerie asked in amazement.

“We will talk about that in a minute,” Lenora said, patting Valerie’s hand compassionately. “Sweetheart, I want ye to lift your shirt so I can look at your ribs.”

“What?” Valerie asked, raising an eyebrow.

With the partial return of her strength, Lenora’s empathic powers began to surface, too. With them came the sensation that Valerie was in both more physical and mental pain than she was letting on.

“I want to examine your ribs,” Lenora said. “He’s been knocking ye about, hasn’t he?”

Valerie bit her lip and blinked back tears. “Y-yeah.” The word came out in a constricted squeak.

Lenora slowly got to her feet, swayed a little, but righted herself. When she started to lift Valerie’s shirt, Valerie didn’t object. Lenora inwardly winced, her lips thinning into a thin line of anger as she looked at the yellowing marks scattered over Valerie’s back and torso. With skilled, nimble fingers, Lenora prodded lightly over the most injured areas to check for breaks, letting her empathic senses guide her. Once again, she apologized for causing Valerie pain when she flinched.

Lowering Valerie’s shirt, Lenora took her sister-in-law by the upper arms and gave her a grim look. “Ye need medical attention, Valerie. Ye are injured more than ye realize.”

“It’s healing.”

“Aye, but not as quickly and correctly as it should, given ye are a wolf. Darling, ye have broken ribs that could easily puncture a lung, which could potentially kill ye in your impaired state. Ye have ligament damage in that shoulder. Plus, whatever that monster has been drugging ye with is causing a toxic buildup in your muscles that will lead to more problems if ye don’t get it removed from your system. If this keeps up, it will damage your heart muscle very rapidly, which could also kill ye. I don’t mean to frighten ye, but ye need to know so ye can do something about it,” Lenora said.

As Lenora spoke of each injury, Valerie’s eyes widened, and she gawped, slack-jawed, at the woman who she always believed could walk on water. Although Lenora didn’t practice the healing arts on a regular basis, there was no denying that she was abundantly gifted and knowledgeable in them. Valerie had wished herself dead, but she didn’t want it to happen on Shane’s terms. “There’s no way he’d let me get treatment,” she said.

Lenora’s hold on Valerie’s upper arms was firm but careful due to her injuries. For the first time since knowing Valerie, she looked sternly into her face. “Ye must find a way or ye will be deathly sick, even dead, within three days. Broken ribs are nothing to sneeze at, but the buildup in your muscles will most definitely bring it about. Ye are being slowly poisoned, and ye will die if ye don’t take care of it.”

Valerie’s mind whirled frantically. “When…when you were still…out, I had a vision of Drogo, the Great Alpha Wolf. When my fingers passed over Tyrone’s mark, he came to me.” Valerie reached for Lenora’s right hand and turned it palm up so Lenora could see.

“The Wolf Ceremony of Death,”Lenora whispered, tears coming to her eyes as she looked at the sword and shield etched on her palm.

“Tyrone thought you dead, so he put it there,” Valerie said, feeling shame arise in her for what must have been the thousandth time. “I haven’t ever heard of it being done on a living person, but he thinks you’re dead.  Apparently, Drogo is protecting you somehow. Anyway, he came to me, read me the divine riot act, and told me to go to Neil Hughes. Said I need to confess what I did and have him help me retrieve my memories.”

“Then ye must obey. If Drogo says Dr. Hughes is the one to help ye, then ye must go to him,” Lenora said matter-of-factly.

“Lenora?”

“What is it, Valerie?”

“I…it’s just…I’m…” Valerie covered her face and burst into helpless tears. “Why are you being so fucking nice to me? Dammit, Lenora! You should hate me after this. I don’t deserve…”

Before Valerie could continue, Lenora carefully snaked her arms around her. She wanted to squeeze her tight but held her more gently, being mindful of her ribs. “It would be easier for ye if I did hate ye. By having me rail and rant at ye, it would give ye more cause to beat yourself up even further. Ye could justify distancing yourself even more if those who love ye turn their faces away from ye. Ye believe none of us love ye because ye feel unworthy of that love. Ye don’t know what to do, how to act, when kindness and compassion is extended to ye.”

“S-something like that,” Valerie sobbed, taken aback at how directly and succinctly Lenora put Valerie’s turmoil into words. “I’m a fuck up. Who could love a fuck up?”

“Darling, everyone has regrets and makes mistakes. Granted, some mistakes are bigger than others, and there is fallout. The key thing, Valerie, is that ye must find a way to move forward and better yourself for it. A big part of that is forgiving yourself, for if ye can’t do that, it’s damned near impossible to accept forgiveness from anyone else.” She was silent for a few moments as Valerie continued to cry out her misery. She held her distraught sister-in-law close while rubbing her back soothingly, hoping she could exercise the wisdom she needed and that her words would sink in. She was certain both hers and Valerie’s lives depended on it. “Now, I won’t condone what has been done, but the one fully responsible for it is that bastard. What’s done is done, and all we can do is find a way out of this. I told ye I could never hate ye, and I meant it. I love ye very, very much, darling, and I want to see ye well and happy.”

“I’m so sorry, Lenora. Please forgive me.”

“I know ye are, and I forgive ye,” Lenora said, stroking Valerie’s hair in a sisterly gesture.

“Tyrone won’t.”

A single tear rolled down Lenora’s cheek, and she had to swallow hard to keep from wailing outright. I want to go home, she thought to herself. Tyrone, my love, I want nothing more than to put my arms around ye and make ye understand that I’m alive. I want to hold my wee ones. Och, the thought of all of ye grieving for me hurts me so! Aloud, she said, “It might take some time for Tyrone to come around. He…” Lenora trailed off, unable to find adequate words to describe the unbearable sorrow Tyrone would be feeling now.

“I took away what he loves most, the person he can’t live without,” Valerie stated. “He’s alive, but he won’t ever be the same again…and I did this to him.”

“Shane forced ye, Valerie, and once Tyrone sees that, he’ll understand.” Lenora pulled back slightly so she could look earnestly into Valerie’s stricken face. “We’re going to have to help each other if we are to get out of this mess. To do that, Valerie, ye need to go to Dr. Hughes and do as Drogo says. I need ye at the top of your game, all right?”

“Okay. I’m just…”

“I know you’re frightened, darling. The first step in recovery is always frightening. But if ye don’t take it, both of us are doomed,” Lenora said.

“I know.. Yes…yes, you’re right. I can do this, and I will.” It wouldn’t come close to atoning for the horror she caused, but at least she’d be doing the right thing for once.