Warning!!! This letter contains major spoilers to “Forever in Time.” You can read that story by navigating to the Other Works By Me section and clicking the appropriate link.
It was so good to receive your letter. As always, your letter brought a smile to my face.
I must apologize for taking such a long time to write back. As you know, times do get busy. With planning for a double wedding and taking in three new children, I am like the little white rabbit in Alice in Wonderland who is trying to get to the desired destination on time. Och, time! Now, if we can speed it up or slow it down to meet our needs, that would be the innovation of the millennium, would it not?
So, my friend, how are you? It feels like it has been ages since we’ve been in touch.
I am so glad you are doing well and enjoying this project. In many ways, it’s so therapeutic. Sometimes it’s easier to write to someone and talk about things you might not be able to face to face with someone you know well. Look at us, for example. We have been talking about some heavy things. Och, I don’t mind at all. You see, life isn’t always happy smiles and rainbows, but then, you know that. You have certainly been through more than your share of traumatic experiences.
Thank you so much for sharing more of your experiences with me. It broke my heart as I read about the death of your mother and how you were there when it happened. Och, I am so, so sorry all of that happened. You were so young and to witness such a thing at that age is a sorrowful thing, indeed. Seeing that at an older age is hard enough, but it’s even more so at a very young age. You were old enough to remember certain things and to experience some deep-seated emotions but not old enough to really grasp the implications of what her death meant. Thankfully, you have a great family who helped you cope with the loss and your feelings. That is extremely important, for a good support system is key in recovering from such a thing. Believe me, I know firsthand how important that is.
I completely empathize with you about survivor guilt. I’ve watched Tyrone battle his own guilt over my disappearance and presumed death. Plus I went through my own guilt over the loss of my first husband and son. I think I might have mentioned how they died in a plane crash. For the longest time, I felt as though I had a hand in it, even if it was indirectly. Linc and I (my first husband was Lincoln but he went by Linc) planned a family trip to Disneyworld and Universal Studios to see the Wizarding World of Harry Potter theme park. Now, being a witch, I could teleport everyone to our destination without the hassles of a plane trip. Landon had never been on a plane before and had his heart set on having that experience. How could I refuse? Everything was all set until a wee hiccup made its way into our plans.
Being a writer, I am often asked to speak at different events and sit on writers’ panels. On one such occasion, the main speaker was unable to appear so my agent asked if I could do it. At first, I declined since it was going to interfere with our trip. However, Linc and Mathilda encouraged me to go. I could always teleport myself to Disney after the conference was over. Mathilda, who was coming with us on the trip, offered to accompany me and then we would go to Florida the morning after my presentation.
While I was engaged in my speech, Linc called and left me a voicemail telling me their flight had been delayed due to mechanical problems. It was late by the time I finished, so I decided to surprise them and be there by the time they arrived, got settled, and woke up the next morning. Mathilda and I decided to return home to get some rest before meeting up with Linc and Landon.
Then, all hell broke loose. Before I tell you what happened next, I’ll answer your question about what it’s like to see into the future. It’s something a lot of people wish they could do and yes, it can be downright helpful at times. At other times, it can be a curse. There are things I wish I didn’t have to see, but the visions don’t discriminate against pleasant or awful things. When you possess such an ability, you see your share of both. It’s the same with empathic abilities. There are times when you feel the absolute joy of others but on the other side of the coin, you feel the anguish and fear that others are feeling as if it were your own. Such a thing happened to me when I literally saw and felt the death of my husband and son.
One minute, I was dead asleep on my couch and the next, I was sitting bolt upright experiencing the greatest fear of my life. The plane was going down and I knew I was going to lose them. At the moment of their death, I mercifully passed out. When I awoke, it was the beginning of the greatest sorrow I’d ever felt in my life.
You might wonder why I was unable to save them since i am a witch. I would have done everything in my power to do so, but sadly, it wasn’t within my power to make it happen. Why couldn’t I just teleport myself into the plane, grab them, and teleport them out? It’s not as easy as it may sound. For one thing, it’s very, very difficult and dangerous to try to teleport onto a fast moving target and at a high altitude. I likely would have missed had I tried and then I would have gone into a free fall. Plus, there are pressure changes and weather conditions to deal with. Same with trying to slow down or stop the plane’s fall. One would need telekinetic ability to do that, which I didn’t have at the time. I say at the time, but ah, that is another story which I will tell you later. Anyway, there was nothing I could do to stop what I knew was happening. Had I experienced a vision of it earlier, I could have had time to warn them and very possibly avoid it. However, I don’t often see things that have a direct impact on my life so again, there was nothing I could do to stop it.
I don’t know what I would have done if I didn’t have Mathilda. She took care of me and stood by me when I lost the will to live. I even had a relapse of the curse that nearly took me as a teenager. I died but was sent back because it wasn’t my time to go. Believe me, all I wanted was to be where Linc and Landon were because life was so unbearable without them.
Time went by – lots of it – and I started to heal. Och, Emily, the guilt though! I let them go, you see, so I felt that it was so much my fault. Had I not, they wouldn’t have died. Landon would have been sorely disappointed but at least he would have still been here. It took me so long to even think about forgiving myself.
Anyway, like Grandda, Landon was eventually able to come back. When the time was right, Mathilda made it possible. I count myself eternally fortunate that I have both Landon and Grandda back, for coning back from death is such a rarity. As to Linc, a part of me will always love and miss him, but I am so blessed to have Tyrone and my grown wee ones. Plus, the three new wee ones enrich our lives as do our grandchildren.
So you see, others might judge Tyrone for falling apart the way he did but I cannot. I would be a complete hypocrite if I did because I know firsthand what it was like to be in his shoes. Even so, it was much, much harder for him because of the Imprinting/Indenting due to him being a wolf. To lose me tore his soul apart. I am not a wolf but somehow, I understand this. Because of that, I could not belittle or stand in judgment of his feelings.
You are so right! Even though Tyrone suffered immensely from my absence due, in part, to the Imprinting, the abundant joy outweighs it. Tyrone and I are connected in ways that most people can only dream of. His pain is my pain and his joy is mine as well. He feels my presence within himself, therefore making us intertwined without even thinking about it. The best way I can explain it is that when he Indented on me, I became the gravity that holds him to the earth. It’s like anything else. It comes with both the good and the bad, but I would not trade it for anything in the world.
Aurora truly is a wonderful person but of course, I’m a bit biased. All my wee ones are special and have kept us on our toes. They’re a lively crew, especially when plotting and scheming with Landon and Crystal’s wee ones. Add Carson to the mix (Carson is my nephew who will be marrying Ella, the Fae Queen and part of the double wedding) and I begin to wonder if the place will still be standing. 🙂 Anyway, Aurora will always be her Da’s princess and was his beacon during those dark times. I wasn’t happy that she was in such a hard position but I’ll be the first to tell you that sometimes you end up stepping up to a task you never thought you’d set out to do. Aurora’s visions came when they were most needed. Wonder of wonders, she never resented being or doing what she did. She simply said, “Ma, ye gotta do what ye gotta do. I reckon I must have the chops to tackle anything now.” After that, it was hard for her to just be a kid, which is a bit sad, but she was always quite mature for her age anyway. The long and short of it is (and again, I feel so fortunate) that everyone eventually recovered and we were, and still are, there for each other. The battle now is getting Tiffany and Layla through their nightmares and Tiffany’s guilt. They improve day by day but this kind of thing is often an uphill climb and falling a few feet before making progress again. I figure the more they can talk about happier times, the better they are getting. Layla is still pretty little yet so she’ll probably have an easier time of it than Tiffany although the fear of the dark might stick with her for quite some time.
Ah yes, on to happier times! Och, sweetie, you don’t have to explain about feeling apprehensive or needing a chaperone if you will be coming to the wedding. Remember, I’m a mother so I am certainly in agreement with your parents about not letting you go off like that by yourself. Tyrone and I were the same way with our wee ones. Even now when they’re grown, I still worry when they travel and are away from Mama Hen. It unnerves me every time Aurora goes on tour. The world is a mighty big place and sometimes I picture every kind of monster coming out of the woodwork to devour her. Luckily she has Silvan now and he watches out for her. Sure, she can take care of herself (she has a mean right hook!) but that’s my job to worry about her and the others. You are most welcome for the invitation. We’d certainly be thrilled to have you and whoever accompanies you, so let’s keep our fingers crossed that it can be worked out. Ella and Carson put some fairy dust in this little packet I’m inclising with this letter for luck. Just a wee warning. It takes very little (there are about three doses here) to work, and you’ll know it’s working when you start feeling light as air. Your feet literally won’t touch the ground. Not to worry though. You won’t go floating off into space or anything. You’ll just float some as you go from place to place. It’s quite an exhilarating feeling.
Oh my! It sounds like you had a grand time with the people from the Supernatural commune. What a blessing to have met them and to find out how nice they are! It sounds like the start of a lovely friendship and I wish you all the best. I can imagine how long your journal entry was after your afternoon of tea and cookies. How right you are that you can find magic in the smallest of things. You don’t need to witness a big exhibition to be privy to magic. There is magic in simply spending some quiet time with friends, listening to music, and yes, in science too. Just because we know how certain things work doesn’t lessen the magical value in them.
Some years back, we experienced a total solar eclipse. My wee ones were teenagers at the time, and we all thought it would be nice to have a sort of eclipse party. Carson came over to spend that weekend with us, and we had a lovely cookout as we waited for the eclipse to appear. Weather conditions were perfect for observing it but of course, we took the necessary precautions so nobody would sustain damage to their eyes. Anyway, we all were excited, and Tyrone and I were asked so many questions about it. The one I’ll never forget is the one Andrea asked. She and Chris are wolves like their father, so they wanted to know if the eclipse would make them wolf out. Well, I had to leave that one to Tyrone to answer. He explained that this was a different situation than the full moon appearing at night so no, they likely wouldn’t have a full transformation. “But you might feel like you’re in that in-between stage where you know it’s going to happen and when you actually go over the edge. This time, you’ll feel like you’re teetering on that edge but you won’t go over,” Tyrone said as he grinned at them.
Chris later told me that it was the strangest thing he ever felt. “It’s kinda like I had this itch I couldn’t scratch but in a good way. Sounds weird but that’s the best way I know how to put it,” he reported.
So, it was a magical experience for us in both the Supernatural and the “regular” way. Although it’s scientific knowledge that is available to us, I feel it’s still a miracle of both science and magic. It is one of those things that is perfect journaling material, and I sincerely hope you get to see one during your lifetime. You will never forget it.
Ah, so you want to hear about Alina! Well, Alina is Mathilda’s daughter and a truly marvelous person. She, too, is a Supernatural, a witch in fact, but a very special one. You’ve heard of being out of place, I’m sure. Well, Alina was literally a stranger in a strange land. She was born centuries ago and lived during a time of great violence and persecution. There were witch hunts and innocent people – witches and non-witches – were put to death. By the time Alina was grown, Mathilda had achieved her immortality so wasn’t in fear of her life. However, Alina was mortal, and it got back to them that the mob was coming after Alina. At that time, Alina was suffering from Smallpox. Mathilda had to find a way of making it so Alina wasn’t contageous and she had to spirit her away so she couldn’t be harmed. The only totally safe solution was to send her forward in time where such upheaval didn’t exist.
It was a huge adjustment for Alina, but she was a trooper. It was hard for Mathilda, too, to send her away but she did it because she loved Alina. Anyway, she is now married to my nephew, Robin, and they are working on starting a family.
Alina has had her own battle to fight and I will tell you about it in my next letter if Alina gives me the go-ahead to. I’m sure she won’t mind a bit as I’ve told her a lot about you, but I still want to make sure. I think you would find her fascinating and if you’re able to come to the wedding, you will certainly meet her.
Oh, please do give the wedding invitation some more thought. As I said, we would love to have you and your guest or guests. Everyone would love to meet you and Grandda, Mathilda, and I would be especially thrilled.
Wishing you many blessings and lots of sunshine.