It was so lovely to receive your letter. There is no need to apologize. Life gets busy, and I, for one, understand how that goes. As you can see, my response wasn’t as prompt as I like to be, so we’re even on that score. 🙂
There is no need to thank me about being understanding about how much you reveal. You never can be too careful these days. From what I’ve read in your letter, you’ve had your own version of Hell to overcome, so we both know there are some very sick and twisted people out there. Like I said before, you are welcome to tell me as much as you wish and I’ll be here for you no matter what. Both Grandda and I have grown quite fond of you, so you’re stuck with us as long as you want to be.
It warmed my heart when you wrote of liking Grandda so much. I think I mentioned before how blessed I was to have him as a Grandda. He’s a special, dear man.
Those emotional topics certainly can run deep. I hope it all worked out with your pen pal. You said they were worried that you might have been upset over what you talked about. It’s good that they were concerned about you, for that shows the amount of caring they have for their friends. I can honestly say that this project is a great way to “meet” some different people and acquire a lasting friendship. How wonderful that you got in touch with Gentian! I’m glad you like him. He’s an amazing friend to have, and I think you will really enjoy having him as a pen pal.
It most certainly is maddening how innocent people get dragged into schemes that shouldn’t even take place. What I went through was an absolute nightmare. It still hurts my heart to know how much my family suffered because of it. There was a lot of anger and grief even after I came back. Tyrone still has bouts of deep-seated guilt over it. It breaks my heart so to both see and feel his pain. Not only does he feel like he let me down, which is utterly ridiculous, but he feels as though he let the kids down as well.
I might have mentioned this to you before, but there is something that happens to many wolves when they first come into contact with their true soulmate. It’s a process called Indenting but is also called Imprinting. They feel this uncontrollable pull toward the person, and that person becomes their gravity. It’s a kind of magic that’s hard to explain and difficult for most to understand. It’s more than love or attraction. It’s a sort of joining together. One is incomplete – literally – without the other. Tyrone can sense me no matter where I am, and I can do the same for him. There’s more to it, but it’s such a big concept that words are inadequate to explain it.
So when I “died,” it broke Tyrone and he was crippled with grief and guilt. A piece of him was literally ripped from him, causing him unspeakable and unbearable agony, both physically and mentally. Thank goodness we had family to help because as you can imagine, Tyrone was in awful shape.
Aurora took a lot onto her shoulders and did her best to help take care of her father. She was convinced I wasn’t dead and that I’d come back. You see, Aurora inherited one of my abilities and can see into the future and past. It’s not a common ability for even a witch to have, but I have it and Aurora got it from me. She had a vision of my return and would remind her father that it would happen. You can imagine that I wasn’t happy that Aurora was put into that position, but these things are often beyond our control.
Aurora and I have had long talks about this over the years and thankfully, she doesn’t blame Tyrone or me for it. She simply says, “I did what I had to do, Ma. It just proves I have the chops to tackle whatever challenge that’s thrown at me.”
This could have really torn our family apart, but we became closer than ever instead. Tyrone still feels as though he has a lot to make up for but now that the kids are grown (and we do have two werewolf kids who’ve gone through the Indenting process themselves), they’re understanding and hold no hard feelings against Tyrone or me. However, they want nothing more to do with their aunt and rightfully so.
My gracious! I didn’t think this letter would turn into True Confessions, but there it is. It just goes to show that Supernatural folks are no different than everyone else in some ways. Everyone has their own problems and challenges to work through, no matter what and who you are.
The kids we adopted are doing better. Tiffany and Layla still have nightmares but they’ve lessened in frequency and severity. Poor Tiffany feels her own brand of guilt. Tyrone was the first one she admitted it to, and I think it was a start to helping her heal. Their parents died in a fire but managed to get the three kids to safety first. Tiffany was asleep and feels that if she’d woken up sooner, she could have helped get everyone out and her parents would still be alive. Sometimes it’s hard for her to believe there was nothing she could have done and that it was nothing more than a terrible accident. Tyrone and I encourage her to talk about it when she needs to. Now, she speaks more and more about happy memories of her folks, which seems to help, too. They’re doing much better now that they’re in a family setting, but there will still be many times that revisiting the accident and aftermath will happen.
It was beautiful how you described how you still feel – beautiful but rather sad, too. The pain of trauma never completely goes away but it does become bearable with time. Having people around you who love you and support you makes all the difference, I think that was how we managed to get through our trauma and come out the way we did. We are certainly optimistic that the same will happen for the wee ones we’ve adopted. They are such wonderful children with so much to give.
Our grown kids have been great, too. They’ve taken on the role of big sisters/brothers enthusiastically, which I knew they would. Andrea and Elton, and Aurora and Silvan have adopted kids from the orphanage, too, as has my son Landon and his wife, Crystal. Jonas and Sharon are talking about doing the same, and Chris and Tabitha have broached the subject. Even my nephew Robin and his wife, Alina are looking to do the same. Ah, I don’t believe I’ve ever told you about Alina, have I?
Well, on to happier events! I think everyone who has at least some humility gets a little nervous before a performance. It’s my belief that if this doesn’t occur, overconfidence settles in. Overconfidence can be the kiss of death in a performance, for cockiness often leads to unfortunate mistakes. “Those flapping butterfly wings keep ye grounded in reality, Ma,” Aurora said to me one day as she was playing the piano. I think that totally sums it up. My daughter is a wise soul. Did I ever tell you that?
Och! I loved hearing about your sister’s wedding. It sounded beautiful and lovely. You are right though. As great as a wedding is, it’s nice when it’s over. I’m sure your sister and her wife will be blessed with much happiness and love. I’m so happy your guitar playing went well, too. The first time in public is always the hardest. It gets easier from there, but you are wise to take small steps. Perhaps one day, you’ll feel confident enough to sing in public, but for now, just concentrate on those smaller milestones. I’m sure it was lovely, both your playing as well as your sister’s music.
As for our fairytale weddings, they are still in the preparation stages. Putting on a royal wedding is quite the undertaking, so there’s lots and lots to be done. Also, Aurora will be undergoing the transformation to become a fairy. Because she is a witch, the potion needs to be adjusted a bit. Mathilda is helping Ella work on that, but it still needs some time to stew and mature. Aurora insists that she must look the part of the fairy princess and wants to have her wings before she walks down the aisle.
If you would like, you can do more than just hear about the weddings. Aurora and Ella heartily gave me the go-ahead to extend an invitation to you if you’re willing to come for a visit and if your parents will allow you to travel. Feel free to bring a guest, too, and either Grandda or I can come collect you and bring you back home afterward. You’ll certainly get the royal treatment and have the time of your life. Give it some thought and let me know if it’s doable.
Och! You are most welcome for the time-travel stories. It is said that time-travel through the stones goes back all the way to a branch of ancient Druids. Mathilda has shared many legends with me and has even worked on methods of perfecting this means of travel. Stone circles aren’t the only way to travel, but it is the method most known to many witches and wizards. It is highly advisable to do this with extreme caution, for time-travel can be dangerous and even fatal. Only a very skilled witch or wizard can navigate the stones and that only certain people are geared for the journey. it is said that if one can feel the magic surrounding the stones, they are more likely to be able to travel and come out unscathed.
It is sad but true that some stone circles are forgotten and have been tampered with. It sounds like you’ve cone across such a group of stones. It happens frequently though. Sometimes the magic can be restored to such a group of stones but it takes some doing. Not only would the correct pattern need to be formed, but the right kind of stone itself is needed to replace what was ether taken or broken. It’s a science of and in itself and is something Mathilda is very knowledgeable about.
Your journal idea sound lovely, and I certainly encourage you to begin it. You will come up with the perfect name, I’m sure. If you like, I’m sure Grandda and I can help guide you to some places to look for magic. Please do let me know how you are doing with it.
Moonlight Falls is a mysterious but lovely place. I lived there for a time when I moved in with Mathilda after Linc and Landon were killed. It’s not for the faint of heart, for you will see things there that defies “normal” physics and logic. If you are able to come to the weddings, I’m sure Grandda and Mathilda will be happy to show you around.
It does make all the difference to have people I love to share such a long, long life with. I cannot imagine being immortal and alone. Mathilda knows a lot about that, for she was in that boat. Honestly, I don’t know how she did it. She is a stronger person than I cold ever be to want that kind of life. I’m so happy she no longer is alone, and I think she’s become a much nicer person for it, too.
I will be happy to tell you more stories of my family, I’m sure when I write next, there will be a lot to share. You are not nosy at all, my dear friend! Take care of yourself and enjoy the after-wedding lull.
Wishing you much happiness and love.